here we are again
one mouth at the source
one mouth already tasting iron

freedom from , freedom to
what is there to fear when you are pressed this close to yourself
( next to nothing it seems )

you are simply

-- -- --

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like
to get my fill of it -- to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once.

-- -- --

OCD INVENTORY FOR A THING THAT CANNOT LEAVE ITSELF --

north field wet to the bone
    dew on both muzzles     the same cold
janus without the godhead
    one face toward the crossing     one face only toward the blade
the scorpion that is also the frog
    the frog that does not know it
just once to drink until the shaking stops
    just once to be filled enough to believe in the far bank
milk thick and fatty and alive on the tongue
    hunger making no distinction between mercy and need
mythomania
    the tale two mouths tell the same throat
if I am careful enough
    I will not become what I already am
the barb in the smallest muscle
    not chosen     not learned     only there before either name existed

-- -- --

What a terrible thing it is to wound the one you hold --
and to do it so unconsciously.

what a terrible thing
    to wound the one you hold
to do it without deciding to
    to love so completely you stay close
and still deliver the blade
    and still deliver the blade
nerve completing the sentence
    the tongue never began to speak

-- -- --

                    the sting arrives the size of a twitch

                              contact

                              discharge

                    self          into          self

-- -- --

cheeks pressed warm to warm in the cold
breath braided     blood shared     no border
iron flooding the mouth midstream

why would you
    why would you
        we both drown
                                    the water is already in the lungs

-- -- --

twice as many stars as any night deserves
    too many eyes     too much distance     too little skin
the cow searching for the life she left there
    finding the wrong hush     finding the cooling
a version carried away from the field on paper
    as if this wasn't hunger
as if this wasn't love
    as if the one who trusted the crossing
and the one who could not stop the sting
    were ever two bodies

-- -- --

                    one heart
                        crossing itself
                            no other close possible
                                no other close possible

-- -- --

you are simply
    you are simply
        you are simply
            you are simply

-- -- --

Will you remember that I existed,
and that I stood next to you here like this?

will you remember that I existed
    will you remember I stood next to you here
        like this
                                                like this

[ the barb was there before either of us ]
[ I didn't mean -- ]
[ and also: I did ]
[ and also: I can't ]
[ the field keeps breathing as if nothing inside it breaks ]

tonight the milk smell stays in the cold long after
the cow's flank cooling     steam gone thin above the hide
dew still on both muzzles
twice as many stars for what didn't need any more eyes

it was love
it was also what it was